Been a really long time

I realize it has been afew years since I have actually posted anything here and I am sorry. Today I just wanted to say that I will be posting updates to what has happened over the years very soon. Stay tuned and hope you will read what I have to say.

Everythings Good

This month has been really good, no real big problems or anything like that. My wife and I have been getting along really well. She has been very stable and other than my step-father stressing us out it has been a pretty relaxing time.

I hope everybody has been having a wonderful new year so far, and thanks to everybody that reads my blog.

Didn't mean to offend anybody.

I haven't been posting anything recently because everything has been really good. I just want to say that I have read all the comments I have recieved and really appreciate it.

I have one problem, one person miss took my last last comment and thought I was calling anybody with BPD nuts. Well I'm sorry but I never said that or think that. What I was trying to say was I myself have to deal with not just my wife but also my own personal problems that have nothing to do with BPD that I am getting overwhelmed with everything.

Thats all that I want to say right now, I trying to deal with my step-father right now and thats stressing my wife and myself out.

Thanks for reading.

Pain is Good?

It has been a quite a few days since I put up a real post, I must say SORRY.

Life is just so unfair!! I said in previous posts that my wife got really angry at me for speaking to my co-worker. Well everything that happened during the last month pretty much revolved around that person. Since everything seems to revolve around me talking to her I have tried to avoid talking to her at all costs, only problem is I feel like I've been kicked into a corner where the only thing I could do is bang my head against the wall and hope that I will wake up in a different world. It seems the better my wife gets I am the one that ends up falling into depression farther and farther. I guess this is something I should not be complaining about too much since she has not done anything to scare me in a long time. I still don't think it's fair!

Last Monday I myself ended up throwing my back out at work, and now am not able to return to work for a while. I'm hoping that I will be well enough to go back on Monday but it depends on what the doctor says. Problem now is that I've lost a week of pay minimum and don't know is if I can keep up with bills, since we have been living pay check to pay check. This is something that I have always been afraid since she got sick. I lost my savings to pay for her medication in the first 3 months of her taking the meds, the costs ended up being 3x my pay per month in the beginning and I have not been able to catch up. So now I have to try to figure out is if I am going to be able to handle this and my own stresses that I deal with already.

If anybody has any ideas to help with this please leave me a comment or email me please!! BEFORE I GO NUTS!!!

Finally starting to get back to normal, whatever that is.

Just want to say sorry its been so long since I posted, has been a hard few weeks.

Well last time I put up a post was almost a month ago and my wife and I had an argument. Its been hard for me dealing with her and the rest of my family and also friends. I'am going to keep this short. I just wanted to let everyone know that we are still trying to work things out still and I will be putting up posts more often.

Going to be a tough New Years

I hope everybody had a great Merry Christmas and got what they wanted.

It was sad to hear about the earthquake and tsunami. My heart goes out to everybody, not just for the victims and families but also to anybody that has seen any kind of life turning event.

Christmas season was going on great until my wife last night snapped, we were eating dinner and our cat decided he was going to throw-up. I was just about to stand up to clean it up but she got up ahead of me and started to clean it up and flush it down the toilet. While she was doing that I went and grabbed paper towels and started to clean up the rest of it. I left one sheet of paper towel on the floor where the cat made a mess so we would not step on the wet carpet. When she sat back down to eat she started to cry, so I asked her what was bothering her. She told me that she was doing everything around the apartment and was stressed and didn't want to eat and was going to bed. After that she would not talk to me. I thought to myself "She does what? Everything?!". Did that every make me mad. She does not work and sleeps till 3pm when I'm at work and I do just as much or more at home. That night she went to sleep at 9pm probably half an hour after she said she was going to bed.

This morning I got up took my shower and got ready for work said good morning to her and what do I get, silence. I asked if she was going to still drive me to work like always and she says, "NO, I'm still feeling stressed." Well that left me with 15 minutes to make my coffee grab everything and drive there to find parking. I guess I should have known that she wouldn't drive me but that was my own fault for thinking that she would. Anyways I called her in the afternoon and talked to her for a bit and asked how she was doing, she said fine and that she was watching the World Junior Hockey game on TV (she's a huge hockey fan). That was great, only problem was when I got home she still barely talked to me and says that she was going to take a bath and relax. When I asked her what she wanted for dinner all I get was "Don't care". So while I was trying to figure out what I was going to make I recieved a phone call from a friend/co-worker who was groped at work by a customer. I have been trying to help her deal with this because she is one of my best friends. Well my wife heard me talking to her and starts to give he shit because she was calling me for help and says that She doesn't want me talking to her anymore. After about 1 hour of this I told her that I was going outside to cool off, 10 minutes later she's walking out the door and yelling that I don't love her anymore! I'm getting to the point where sometimes I think that maybe I'm the right person for her but I love her so much that I can't walk away. She always thinking that I don't love her but I don't know how to show her anymore than I already do. Its been a couple hours since she left, getting worried but she called my cousin and my aunt said she would call her and talk to her.

I'll write again when I figure out whats going on.

Rough Morning

Woke up today with a hangover, tired and a little glad yesterday is over. We had a little get together with a few of our friends. Dinner and everything went fine but just getting to that point was hell for me. I don't know why but she decided to leave everything till 5:30 pm and for me to get home before she started anything, even the shopping of groceries. I was sick all week with a high fever but was unable to get time off work so why she didn't go shopping while I was at work is beyond me. Stressed me out completely to the point I thought about cancelling but decided I shouldn't. Like I said everything went fine and it was fun.

Don't know when I will pit up another post so I'll wish everbody a MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!